this week i'm thinking about:THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS

I’m nervous to write this  - not because I don’t know exactly how I feel and what I want to say - but because, as a white woman in this country, I have experienced so much privilege and have benefited from this fucked up

‘justice’ system in more ways than one. 

To know that is to know that I cannot empathize. 


I cannot know the depths of hurt and anger. 

I cannot feel the decades of discrimination.  


...I also cannot sit here in silence. 


I cannot allow my fear of not knowing ‘the right thing’ to say overpower my love.


I cannot quietly donate to meaningful causes, have conversations, sign petitions and hope that enough people are doing the same. 


I cannot watch my fellow humans rise up in the face of what is right/just and not join them. 


I have scrolled through my social feeds for the last week and have repeatedly watched an innocent man get murdered. 


I have seen a man take his last breath in front of the world. 


It is not a statement. It is not trauma porn. It is not the first video and it won’t be the last.


As a human being, I am heartbroken, I am nauseated, I am disappointed, I am enraged... and that is not enough. 

We need to do better. 

We need to de-program. 

We need to be aware. 

We need to get educated.

We need to stand together. 


The difference between us is that we were born into different bodies. 


The difference between George Floyd and I is that I am here breathing &  "can't". 


I am not black but I stand with you. I mourn with you. I cry with you. I hurt with you. 


Most importantly, I vow to do what it takes to change the conversation, the system & the world. 


I may not always know exactly what to do, but I am willing to stumble in pursuit. 


I may not always get it right, but I am willing to abandon perfection for love.


I am sorry it has taken so long to have this conversation.

I love you and I stand beside you.